Peter said to Him, “Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You!” And so said all the disciples.
Matthew 26:35 NKJV
And so said all the disciples. I do not remember ever seeing this portion of the verse in Matthew. They all agreed with Peter that they would not deny Jesus, and even die if that was necessary. To those disciples, and Peter, what was said by Peter sounded good. I am sure that in their hearts they we rallying behind Jesus after spending three years with the Son of God. We will not deny you, even if we have to sacrifice our lives.
Well, we know what happened to Peter and the disciples. Remember that neither Peter nor the other disciples were born-again or baptized with the Holy Spirit. Yet, to his credit Peter did follow Jesus to the High Priest’s courtyard when all the others ran away. However, when confronted as being a follower of Jesus, fear took over and he denied knowing Jesus.
In my walk with Jesus I have had good intentions but, at times when I sensed the Holy Spirit leading me to talk about Jesus, often fear would prevent me from speaking. I was always a very shy person growing up and my fear was mostly a concern of what people might think about me than anything else. Unlike Peter I never felt that my physical life was ever in danger. I wasn’t denying Jesus, because nobody asked me if I knew Him or was one of His disciples. If they had, I would be more than willing to talk with them. However, I held back obedience to God because of fear. I really felt bad afterwards and would tell God I was sorry and ask Him to make me more bold.
What helped me considerably was when I learned that my fear was because of pride. I was more concerned about myself than my Lord or the people around me. It is self-centeredness or selfishness that perpetuated this fear. Although not perfect, by humbling myself, being more concerned about the eternal destiny of the other person than my feelings, I am improving at engaging with people regarding my faith. Even so, I would not be doing anything that I am doing were it not for the amazing power that comes through the grace of God.
Do you face the same fear? Are you concerned about what others may think of you when you sense the Holy Spirit guiding you to talk to someone? It may be a stranger or even someone you have known for awhile with whom you are being asked to engage. Do you feel bad when you do not open your mouth when the Holy Spirit is guiding you to do so? If so, know that God’s attitude of love toward you does not change despite your lack of obedience. His love is not based on your performance, period. But repent, change the way you are thinking and refocus your eyes upon Jesus the author and finisher of your faith. God knows your shortcomings and has already paid for them through Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross. So have no condemnation (Romans 8:1), keep moving forward, and keep your spiritual eyes and ears open to the leading of the Holy Spirit. By His grace, He will supply you with the boldness and the words to accomplish the task He has set before you. And I can tell you because of my experiences, when you do, an indescribable joy will fill you up. Don’t stop trying, He loves you and wants to continue to shape you into a useable vessel of honor for His glory. So go out into the world and be salt and light!!
